Reclaiming Beauty
Fefe helping to hang the images for the show
Last summer, I showcased this body of work, Reclaiming Beauty, at Fido in my hometown of Nashville, Tennessee. It was an honor to share my work in a place that has long since held importance to me. As a teen, I would spend countless hours at Fido that was often a refuge. And it was here that I would connect with artists who not only did I respect and admire but also would give me advice as a budding artist myself. It was a dream to someday see my own work on the wall. The fact that I was able to return all these years later and share my work in a place that inspired me and gave me confidence was a proud moment for me.
Below is my photographer’s statement along with the images from the show and their captions.
PHOTOGRAPHER’S STATEMENT
My photographic style revolves around capturing beauty with romantic undertones and imagination. A few years ago, my family and I moved to the UK. Life in the English countryside has reignited my passion for creative photography. This body of work is a return to my photographic roots. My daughter and the abundant English flora are the main subjects.
You will discover themes from the novel The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett where the English countryside serves as a catalyst for healing and transformation - a catalyst for hope and coming back to life after loss.
I take much of my inspiration from two Victorian artists: John William Waterhouse (painter) and Margret Julia Cameron (photographer). In the way that these artists’ work points us to feminine endurance in the midst of suffering, my photography explores the security my daughter and I have developed through learning to trust one another in the aftermath of trauma.
At 21 months, my daughter’s biological mother passed away. The impact of that event has left indelible reverberations on her as a person. I entered her life without that biological bond, and I’ve had to earn a secure attachment with her. Our time together has evolved and strengthened. I’ve had a front-row seat watching her discover her own strength, resilience and beauty in the process. She is not a victim or merely a survivor; I see a resilient, strong girl who is becoming a young woman. Together we are reviving life where there was once death.
"We need Art. We need Beauty. We need Art to tell the Truth because the Truth itself, in its own fragmention, needs images.. scenes.. scenarios. The Truth compelling us to create." Dan Allender, a psychologist, writing on the importance of creating art to redeem and reclaim our stories in the aftermath of trauma. Creating this work together with my daughter has deepened our bond and strengthened our trust in one another. It has also been a time to be imaginative, playful and carefree.
I invite you, the viewer, to take a courageous step into your own stories of grief and loss, to reclaim beauty that comes when healing and restoration occur. And to once again allow yourself to delight in and rediscover joy in the life as my daughter has.
In the Arms of the Chestnut Tree May 2019, Drayton Hall, Northamptonshire, UK
Depicted here, Fefe is contemplative with the open mouth suggesting she may be burdened or preoccupied. While delicate and aloof, her gaze is fixed on an unseen focal point, again suggesting a heavy-hearted inwardness. When I took this image, I instantly knew I captured an unguarded moment.
Crown of Dignity, August 2018. Orchard, Northamptonshire, UK
Our first summer in England, we planted a garden mostly of dahlias. Together we made this flower crown that was delicate and fleeting. The weight of the crown on her head was heavy. Fefe asked if she could sit on ground in the orchard. The fallen pine tree seems to be hold her up, leaning her forward. Dahlia’s symbolize elegance, inner strength, change and dignity.
Muse, March 2019. Castle Ashby Gardens, Northamptonshire, UK
This image is an homage to the Victorian painter, John William Waterhouse. Throughout most of Waterhouse’s work, his style evolved; pure, innocent and ethereal, his models often with luminous porcelain skin contrasted by dark eyes and black or auburn hair. His images are romantic and classical in their composition.
Coming Back to Life, February 2019. Deene Park, Northamptonshire, UK
The blossoming of the snowdrop is a sign, that the winter is transforming to springtime. The appear throughout the UK in late January carpeting woodland floors. The snowdrop symbolizes hope, the hope that this winter will finish too, that new warmth will enter our live. Often after great loss or trauma, we hope we can merely survive on the other side of the loss. But to revive your life is to say no to death. That is what we have chosen to do as a family, each in our own way.
Dance with Me, June 2019. Kirby Hall, Northamptonshire, UK
This former 17th century estate was once one of England’s greatest Elizabethan country homes. For centuries it was left to ruin. It has since been restored and rebuilt, open to the public to enjoy. Yet many parts remain left in ruin, visible as to see the beauty in the broken parts.
By Any Other Name, June 2019. David Austin Rose Garden, Staffordshire, UK
“What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet” In the famous Shakespeare scene where Juliet compares Romeo’s family name to a rose. imply that the names of things do not affect what they really are. My daughter and I share the same last name though we do not share the same blood. And yet my name - mother - is no different despite whose blood runs thru her veins. The first time she called me mother. It was like something bonded us together. In that moment, it was a declaration that transcended biology. She chose me and I chose here.
On Hovis Hill, August 2018. Shaftesbury, Wiltshire, UK
Often described as one of the most romantic sites in England, Gold Hill is a steep hill looking out towards the Dorset countryside. When fefe was a toddler, we would go on adventures together. To this day, fefe will ask ‘momma can we go on an adventure today?”. We have loved exploring England and all it has to offer.
Weeping Wisteria April 2019. Coton Manor Garden, Northamptonshire, UK
The meaning and symbolism of wisteria speaks of love lost, but also of the ability for the heart to endure in spite of loss. It is said that the drooping blooms are symbolic of sorrow in many cultures. However, its willingness to live regardless of sorrow is a testimony for hope. In other words, the weeping wisteria expresses sorrow, but it is also an incredibly durable vine, able to live (even flourish) through mistreatment and harsh conditions. When I look at Fefe, I see a confident young woman secure in knowing she is loved.
En Plein Air, July 2019. Hitchin Lavender Farm, Hertfordshire, UK
Earlier in the summer, we came to this farm to explore the lavender fields. But it was the sunflowers off in a distant field that captivated our attention. Away from the crowds and with the rolling hills behind us, for a moment I thought we were somewhere in the South of France. The sunflowers swaying in the wind.. it was one of those perfect days. I love how the sunflowers look like they’re all facing Fefe as she walks down the road.
Bluebell Wood, March 2019. Old Sulhay Wood, Northamptonshire, UK
Bluebells can only grow in an ancient undisturbed woodland. At first glance, you’ll gasp. The site is otherworldly. This was the first image we created together for this series. The experience was magical. You just have to be looking for it.
Fantasy and Reality, October 2018. Wadenhoe, Northamptonshire, UK
The winds were strong on this mild Autumnal afternoon. Throughout the countryside, red ivy was ablaze on the sides of stone cottages and village walls. I knew if I wanted to capture these vines, this was my last chance before the wind’s scattered the leaves. Instead of being frustrated by the weather, we embraced it. At the time, Fefe was reading Harry Potter. She threw leaves up in the air and commanded them to dance with her invisible wand. I simply captured her playing in an invisible world.
Ophelia’s Gaze, October 2018. Wadenhoe, Northamptonshire, UK
This is my daughter’s favorite image of herself. She says she looks mature here. Older than she is. When my daughter was born, she was given a different name. Ophelia. It’s a beauty name with it’s origins being from a Shakespeare character whose life ends tragically. It’s a name associated with death. When I legally adopted my daughter, she decided she wanted a new name. Her name, Fefe, means “The Sweet One”. Here, her gaze, viewers are forced to acknowledge and confront this once suffering young woman's strength and fortitude. Life, not death, is her name.
