A retrospective (from Latin retrospectare, "look back"), generally, is a look back at events that took place, or works that were produced, in the past.

Early 90’s Discover

The thing about memory is that some moments you can recall with such clarity it’s as if the moment took place yesterday. Whereas others grow fuzzy and harder to recall as the years roll on. The exact timeline of my introduction into photography feels more like a mosaic than liner.

In my mind’s eye, I am sitting on the living room floor looking through an album of black and white photos my dad captured during his college years. I don’t remember exactly how old I was or the reason for having that album out. What I do remember is that it intrigued me. My dad’s world.. frozen in time. I mostly loved the portraits he captured of my mom, forever 21 in those faded photos. Her same smile, bright eyes and head tilt.

While on a family vacation in Kauai - walking along the Napali Coastline - I began to think about framing images through the viewfinder. Was it a disposable camera I had? I don’t know. What I do have all these decades later is a single photo of a landscape composition. I felt proud of this single image. I remember thinking: I got the shot. But at the time, I was too young to understand that was assurance I was feeling.

How I ended up with his old camera? I don’t really remember that either. But that old camera gave me life. I would never be the same.

1995 -98’ Explore

What a time of life the mid to late 90’s were! An entire world beyond my home life opened up to me. Armed with my dad’s old manual Minolta XG7, a driver’s license and curiosity to explore, it was the beginning of a new era for me: freedom to roam. Independence.

In high school, I learned to develop my first photograph while in art class. It was in that class that I established my tribe of friends, each unique and different yet we shared a common language: to create art. Those were some of the best days of my life. We had such fun running around fields taking photos, carefree and silly, creating art and making memories. We embraced each other’s differences. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere.

The 90’s also saw a new era in the rise of the coffee house culture. Nashville had one place to go: Bongo Java. The first time I entered this place packed with college students, loud grunge music playing and a vibrant energy.. I was like a moth to a flame. It was nothing like my then small farm town of Franklin. Forget the mall. I wanted to be here! It felt eclectic. Different. And I wanted to be a part of it. It was also here that I made friends with artists, writers, musicians and an aray of characters that would make for a fascinating story. For hours, I would sit with a sketchbook draw or a journal to write in. Eventually, I connected with those people and finally felt like I belonged a part of something of my own.

When it came time to consider what I wanted to do beyond high school, I struggled to figure out exactly what I wanted that to be. At the time, I was strongly considering pursuing a degree in European History. Yet the more I explored photography, the stronger this passion grew.

My senior year, I took part in a senior shadow day. If you’re unfamiliar with this, it’s where you take the day away from school to shadow someone in the profession you are interested in pursuing. To this day, I have no idea how I learned about this woman. I don’t even remember her name. What I remember is the impression her life and work left on me. She gave me a vision for a life I long for: to have the ability to work as a photographer while also able to be home with my future family.

Visiting SCAD solidified the college decision for me. With everything in me, I knew this is where I wanted to be. I wanted to go to art school.

1998 - 01’ Educate

Where my high school years may have opened me to a new world, SCAD introduced me to a new way of seeing that world. There was no doubt I was meant to be in art school; as there wasn’t a class that I didn’t love. Ok the exception being life-drawing. I wasn’t the biggest fan of staring at naked bodies and drawing them for three hours.

Never have I created and produced as much art as I did throughout my college years. One of the aspects I appreciated was how often you collaborated with other artists from different departments. As someone who often thrived on being alone, I found myself thoroughly enjoying coming together with others to create.

Aside from the phenomenal photo professors, comprehensive classes and a thriving creative community, I would have to say that there were two experiences that would ultimately change the trajectory of my life.

The first was the opportunity to study abroad in Europe the summer of my junior year. Imagine being a 20 year old kid back in 2000 when there were no smartphones and every country in Europe had a different currency. You had to use maps and guide books to get around. Coins to use pay phones. And a lot of blind faith and spontaneity to backpack throughout Europe. Little did I know how much this experience would prepare me for my future as a travel guide.

The stories I could tell from this epic journey could fill books. But most impressionable was the day I visited museum space housed in a former post office in East Berlin. Magnum Photos was showcasing images that documented the last decade of the 20th century. Over 400 images wallpapered this cavernous rooms. I absorbed each image and caption. A myriad of emotions flooded my senses as I learned of events I was oblivious to. Notably the horrors of Chernobyl. I was confronted with the reality that these events had taken place in my lifetime and I was unaware.

In this defining moment, that I understood the power of photography. To capture and convey a moment that would inform others - make them aware of events or circumstances that otherwise that would be ignorant of.

Once you are made aware, you can’t say you didn’t know. And once you know, you have a responsiniltuy to do, to act on that knowable. On the steps of a old post office in East Berlin, I decided what I wanted to do with my photography. Up until that moment, I knew I had a passion for creating images but I didn’t know the what or the why.

When I returned to the states. I wasn’t the same person. Travel does that to you. I returned from Europe inspired, challenged and with journals and film canisters documenting my adventure.

The other life altering opportunity happened as I entered my senior year. I made the choice to apply for an internship and spend my fall quarter working. Had it not been for my professor’s encouragement to aim for the stars, I would never had considered applying to work at Magnum. Turns out, that encouragement paid off. I became the first SCAD student to intern with the agency.

There is much I could say about my time in New York on that day in September. I will share more about this in a separate post as we approach the 20th anniversary of this traumatic and historic event. I’ll allow the photos of that time to speak for themselves.

2002 - 05’ Develop

September 11th derailed me. For years, I was moving towards one goal: pursue a career in photography. Make it in NYC somehow. Work for a photo agency and go from there. But that day in September changed everything for me. All of a sudden I was confronted with the reality that I didn’t know nor understand the world I lived in.

I graduated from SCAD the summer of 2002. After a few months in limbo, I did what ever first born child says they’ll never do: I moved back home. For over a year, I was slinging coffee and assisting wedding photographers on the weekends.

All my time was spent working.. but not entirely sure what exactly I was working towards. I knew I wanted to save up money to travel. I was either going to travel around the world for a year.. or move to one country and immerse myself in the culture.

Italy won the gamble. Summer of 2004 I found myself on a plane with a one way ticket to Europe.

My time in Italy was like something out of a movie. I learned the art of doing nothing - la dolce far niente. I learned to slow down, linger over long dinners, struggle to learn a new language and simply enjoy life. Most nights I was out until the wee hours of the morning playing music in dark smokey bars. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything. Spend time in one place allowed me to grow familiar with the place a people. The images I captured tell a story of the places that came to be very much a special part of my life.

The more I discovered about this world around me, the more I desired to dig in deeper.

2006 - 12’ Document

When I returned from Italy, I had $12 in my back account. I was back at Starbucks, sleeping in my childhood bed once again but this time I was dreaming in Italian.

I was photographing weddings and questioning what I was doing with my life. An opportunity opened itself to me to return to Italy as a travel guide.

Over the course many years, I had the incredible privilege to travel all over Europe leading thousands of students on educational tours. Throughout those trips, I documented my travels as much as time would allow between the busy schedule of a tour leader. The cherish those experiences to share a continent that had become a big part of my life.

2013 - 17’: Delight

I always envisioned the time in my life when I would have kids.. and I’d have to opportunity to document daily life with them.

How that transpired I could have never imagined.

But I’m not going to use this space to recall the tragedy of what our family has endured. Rather, these years as a mom has been nothing short of pure delight! I believe that comes across in the images I take of my kids. How much I delight in this life with them, the adventures we go on and experiences we enjoy together.

Documenting our life together tells the story of God’s plan for redepemtion on this side of heaven. I have the photos to prove it! I could not have invited this life or these kids even on my most creative days. I hope the when my kids are adults.. they’ll cherish these images of our life together. I know I do. Aside from daily documents of the kids, I’ve finally returned to my roots.

2018 - Present: Reclaim

When my husband first came to England ahead of the family, he met with a letting agent to help us find a home. He said “I have an unusual request. My wife is a photographer. She needs a place that is inspiring and has lots of natural sunlight. The agent said she had the perfect place for us. And she did!

Moving to England and settling in a 18th century house in the English Countryside has been nothing short of inspiring. It has invigorated my creativity. In the time since moving here, I’ve created more work that the last decade of my life.

Now that the kids are older and independent, I have reclaimed time for myself and my work as an artist. I’ve returned to my photography roots creating fine art images with my daughter while also evolving as an artist in new ways. While I have decades behind me, in many ways I feel like I’m only at the beginning. And that’s exciting!

Thirty Years: A Photographer’s Retrospective